Why Can We Stop Bullying?

Bullying has always been a problem for many generations. Many countries and groups of people have rallies, theme days, national appeals, and many other things to put an end to bullying. Recently movie stars and national role-models have reached out to some of the victims to help build positive self-esteem, but the problem is still evident in our world. We cannot solve the problem by trying to make the bully feel guilty or feel sorry for his/her deeds. We need to heal our world, not blame, or judge others. If we know or can walk in the bully’s shoes, we will be surprised by the pain that he/she is carrying. 

There are long lists of the effect, signs, and symptoms of bullying, but we do not pay attention to the mental state of the bully. Bullying is like a “mental disorder” that cannot be overlooked. I am not minimizing the victim’s pain, but I am saying that if we look deeper, we will see that they are all victims. We cannot solve this by standing up to the bully or trying to make him/her understand his/her actions. Waving a pink shirt in the bully’s face is like waving a bottle of wine in an alcoholic’s face. We must solve the problem at the root or source. It is like putting a band-aid on the wound or treating the symptoms and not the problem. With this in mind, we must reach out to others with love and compassion and not judge. Bullies are seen in every economic status, race, gender and aged group. It is easy to point the finger to children and teens, but there are lots of adult bullies everywhere in our community and world.

There are many bullies who are CEO’s, managers, principals, co-workers, and people who are in supervisory positions. These bullies may not be seen as bullies because they are in a superior role and they oversee subordinate employees. We must help our bullies and the victims of bullying. Victims of bullying may experience physical, emotional, and behavioral problems. It is stated that the victims of bullying may experience physical symptoms such as stress, headaches, stomach-aches, changes in appetite, bedwetting, dizziness, and general aches and pains. Psychological symptoms often include irritability, anxiety, sadness, trouble sleeping, frequent nightmares, tiredness in the mornings, loneliness, helplessness, and feeling isolated. Victims of bullying especially children and teens may exhibit behavioral symptoms such as avoiding social situations, getting to school or late for work, taking off more days, skipping school without telling parents, or even trying to retaliate against their tormentors. As they struggle with the effect of bullying their grades may decline, and they may become self-destructive even run away from home, hurting themselves or contemplating suicide to run away from the pain of bullying.

The bully may be experiencing all the same physical, psychological, mental, and emotional pain similar to the victim. Bullying is very complex, we have to solve it with the joint effort of families, teachers, caretakers and everyone who is raising children, bullies, and victims of bullying. Let us join together and help and protect children before it is too late.